I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
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