No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
