Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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