so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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