"it" just moved
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
