I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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