At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I'm having to shit out rocks
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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