i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I have fence marks all over my body
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
