I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I love you. Go after that dick
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
