I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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