wanna go halves on a baby?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize