i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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