Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
