Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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