I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
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