White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
