Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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