GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
