You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
