i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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