I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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