yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
