shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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