it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
