"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Randomize