East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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