where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
