the condom got lost in my hair
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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