her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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