he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
