I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
