i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
