you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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