I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
