i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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