My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
