I murdered the dance floor call the cops
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
