I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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