His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
