Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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