covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
