FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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