If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Randomize
