That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
