is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize