so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize