The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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