my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
