He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
