Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
