Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
