I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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