I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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