You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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