She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
