You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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