Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
