Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
