Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize