You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
