You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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