We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
